Viva Zapata!
Allrighty then. A new month, new things, some new people. So much to bitch about, though nothing ever happens. Sigh. All is irie.
Weather:
The weather has been good to us lately, in a manner of speaking. Not much to complain about except that it's really awful for my hair. No amount of conditioner helps.
People:
1. Judie: Judie's been in and out of the city. I strongly suspect she only comes here so she can get waxed in peace. Other than that, she's been rather reticent, staring at the dance of the atoms for long periods of time, gaping a little, being startled when asked normal questions. All the travelling and being lonesome has prolly gotten to her. (I do hear that too much exposure to cabin air does strange things to your blood vessels and nerves.) Hang in there, Jude, don't let the System get you down. I know dere yo heart have no base and right now Babylon de pon yo case. Chill gurl, flex it, all gwan be bashy.
2. Shantanu: Shantanu, I take this opportunity here to urge you to take more of an interest in life around you. Are you a Weirdo or are you not a Weirdo? How well do you know us other Weirdos? And do us other Weirdos know you at all? No, Shan-tanoo, the answer to both is a hopeless no. There's more to life, Weirdo Shan-tanoo, embrace it, listen to ghastly myoozak from the 80s and 90s, shake yo booty, crack lame jokes. Life is morbid, it sucks, BE the thump. Om shanty shanty.
3. Neeti: The love of life, my Pistol of Glory. I have nothing but a hug in my heart for you. But lately it has come to my attention that you expressed a dislike for The Simpsons. This happened while we were discussing whether or not to go watch the movie. And...and...you said... that you "can't stand them for 5 minutes on TV what I'll watch a whole bloody movie". Ominous. Very, very ominous. I am greatly saddened. Chaka chaka--a nuh mi fi like it.
4. Keren: First of all, let me take back what I said in last month's newsletter. She did work very hard on those, ahem, spiral-bound books--it's all comin back to me now, I seem to distinctly remember that she stared them down till they gave up their information. She also went into rural parts of the country and hung out with indigenous simple folk, mixed with them, learnt their village patois. Keren, your ability to mingle never ceases to amaze me. Dat wicked, bad like yaz.
5. Peter: Ah, Peter, Peter, where does one start? He is now CEO of. Congratulations, Peter. We are all so proud of you. All you now need to do is curb your desire to hang out in the vicinity of bad dye jobs, mid-life-crisis-mohawks, coolie shorts with pink stripes and bodies that can shimmy through keyholes. Also, listen carefully, you have us, Peter, your best friend in life is not your mirror. Ooman nah like bait, hotsteppa, you gotta get sum dat cris.
6. Oorbi: Donku.
7. Nishant: Nishant is prolly gettin into Berkeley and workin for the World Bank etcetera. Bredren, we must applaud his achievements, get-up-and-go, zip-and-zing, can-do-and-will, especially since the long climb to the zenith of academia has involved reading stupefyingly boring books and general metaphysical lunacy. Take a bow, Doctor, take a bow. Dandimite.
8. Susan: Susan is currently in my Big Bad Green Book on account of having had a snowball effect on loathsome music. My current playlist includes Whitesnake, Wham! Heart, Foreigner. I lay the blame directly at her door. Susan, I detest you. Wa mek yu dweet fa? A fuckery dat.
Other news:
Susan almost got buggered by a man of cloth, there were naked wimmen on the streets last month, Miro Moreira won the Skanky Ho Award hands down (you gurls are SO shallow, I LOVE you), Severus Snape also won on the polls (nothing shallow about our ole Severus), Neeti got a nice shiny new lappy, Oorbi got a new phone, Freddy got mange.
More importantly, the Harry Potter epilogue was terribly disappointing, Snape's death a travesty, Dobby's death completely uncalled for. I am disappointed by a lot of things J. Ro did, though I do like the book much. I try and curb these uncharitable thoughts by thinking of Kreacher.
Special Note:
Please welcome Hugo Severus Bear AKA Huggy Bear into our community. He saw a bit of the world last night and is enamoured by all things Wadaj. He was born of Moxie Falafel Bear and Rakstone Shawty Bear on the 22nd of February in the Century of the Dungbeetle at 2:45 a.m. His childhood idols were Freddie Mercury, Sid Vicious, Gaetano Gagliano and Dita von Teese among others. He developed a drug problem in his adolescence that gave him the black lung and Attention Deficiency Disorder. He's still battling it. Respekk, mon. His recent fads include big flooffy hats, kitten huffing and shadowing people. A lover of fiah, Led Zeppelin, socks, kulcha; a respected member of the Wu-Tang Clan and close friend of Ol' Dirty Bastard, he's mo dan a bear, he's da ori-gin-ull rude bwoy, darlin of the masses.
That's all for this month people. See you next month with more news.
Mi a soon come.
Weedy
The weather has been good to us lately, in a manner of speaking. Not much to complain about except that it's really awful for my hair. No amount of conditioner helps.
People:
1. Judie: Judie's been in and out of the city. I strongly suspect she only comes here so she can get waxed in peace. Other than that, she's been rather reticent, staring at the dance of the atoms for long periods of time, gaping a little, being startled when asked normal questions. All the travelling and being lonesome has prolly gotten to her. (I do hear that too much exposure to cabin air does strange things to your blood vessels and nerves.) Hang in there, Jude, don't let the System get you down. I know dere yo heart have no base and right now Babylon de pon yo case. Chill gurl, flex it, all gwan be bashy.
2. Shantanu: Shantanu, I take this opportunity here to urge you to take more of an interest in life around you. Are you a Weirdo or are you not a Weirdo? How well do you know us other Weirdos? And do us other Weirdos know you at all? No, Shan-tanoo, the answer to both is a hopeless no. There's more to life, Weirdo Shan-tanoo, embrace it, listen to ghastly myoozak from the 80s and 90s, shake yo booty, crack lame jokes. Life is morbid, it sucks, BE the thump. Om shanty shanty.
3. Neeti: The love of life, my Pistol of Glory. I have nothing but a hug in my heart for you. But lately it has come to my attention that you expressed a dislike for The Simpsons. This happened while we were discussing whether or not to go watch the movie. And...and...you said...
4. Keren: First of all, let me take back what I said in last month's newsletter. She did work very hard on those, ahem, spiral-bound books--it's all comin back to me now, I seem to distinctly remember that she stared them down till they gave up their information. She also went into rural parts of the country and hung out with indigenous simple folk, mixed with them, learnt their village patois. Keren, your ability to mingle never ceases to amaze me. Dat wicked, bad like yaz.
5. Peter: Ah, Peter, Peter, where does one start? He is now CEO of
6. Oorbi: Donku.
7. Nishant: Nishant is prolly gettin into Berkeley and workin for the World Bank etcetera. Bredren, we must applaud his achievements, get-up-and-go, zip-and-zing, can-do-and-will, especially since the long climb to the zenith of academia has involved reading stupefyingly boring books and general metaphysical lunacy. Take a bow, Doctor, take a bow. Dandimite.
8. Susan: Susan is currently in my Big Bad Green Book on account of having had a snowball effect on loathsome music. My current playlist includes Whitesnake, Wham! Heart, Foreigner. I lay the blame directly at her door. Susan, I detest you. Wa mek yu dweet fa? A fuckery dat.
Other news:
Susan almost got buggered by a man of cloth, there were naked wimmen on the streets last month, Miro Moreira won the Skanky Ho Award hands down (you gurls are SO shallow, I LOVE you), Severus Snape also won on the polls (nothing shallow about our ole Severus), Neeti got a nice shiny new lappy, Oorbi got a new phone, Freddy got mange.
More importantly, the Harry Potter epilogue was terribly disappointing, Snape's death a travesty, Dobby's death completely uncalled for. I am disappointed by a lot of things J. Ro did, though I do like the book much. I try and curb these uncharitable thoughts by thinking of Kreacher.
Special Note:
Please welcome Hugo Severus Bear AKA Huggy Bear into our community. He saw a bit of the world last night and is enamoured by all things Wadaj. He was born of Moxie Falafel Bear and Rakstone Shawty Bear on the 22nd of February in the Century of the Dungbeetle at 2:45 a.m. His childhood idols were Freddie Mercury, Sid Vicious, Gaetano Gagliano and Dita von Teese among others. He developed a drug problem in his adolescence that gave him the black lung and Attention Deficiency Disorder. He's still battling it. Respekk, mon. His recent fads include big flooffy hats, kitten huffing and shadowing people. A lover of fiah, Led Zeppelin, socks, kulcha; a respected member of the Wu-Tang Clan and close friend of Ol' Dirty Bastard, he's mo dan a bear, he's da ori-gin-ull rude bwoy, darlin of the masses.
That's all for this month people. See you next month with more news.
Mi a soon come.
Weedy
2 comments:
weedy, to make up for the hurt caused by the simpsons remark (tho i still maintain that they r stupid) and for this ultra-cool newsletter *bows down and kisses ur feet,ankles,....*ahem ahem**
weedy the beedi... i would like to thank you for the awesomest blog on the planet.. and the retraction... ihad forgotten all about it.. hehehe... anyways keep up the good work!!!
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